5 steps for winning the battle of the mind

This is what we have to do when we have
negative thoughts. Even if they are scary and
seem bigger than you, fight against them
and you can win!

Although I'm quite content at the moment I still have negative and paranoid thoughts (don't we all) about myself. It is just human nature and nothing unusual, but it's when these thoughts persist and have a lasting effect on our self-esteem, our lives and our relationships that it's a problem.

Don't be your own bully!

I have never physically self-harmed but I harm myself in an emotional way by the thoughts I have. I'm surrounded by good family and friends now and no one has said anything bad about me or my appearance for a long time,  When I put on weight I'll say to myself 'I'm so disgusting'.  I often say that I look masculine (I remember calling myself a transvestite sumo wrestler as a teenager!) and this is not something a single person has ever said to me, it's what I say to myself! Sometimes if I'm 5 minutes late for work or something the thought in my head is 'Oh I'm such an idiot'.  I don't think things like this all the time and sometimes I am able to just laugh at myself but it's really sad that we sometimes become our own bullies with our thoughts.

Be aware!

It's important to recognise when we're doing this to ourselves.  What can be dangerous is when you don't stop and question these thoughts and you just accept them as the truth. I've definitely been in that position before and when people have said positive things about me I've found it impossible to believe them.  If you think this way, it's possible you have depression and/or low self-esteem and there's nothing wrong with getting help for it.  See my blog: http://samanthathesanevegan.blogspot.co.uk/2015/03/5-things-to-do-when-black-dog-strikes.html about getting help for depression. Life can be so much more enriched when you're no longer a prisoner to your negative thoughts.

Fight the demons!

lol.  That paragraph was quite
emotional so I thought I'd
 lighten the mood. Sense of 
humour always helps!

I realise not everyone has seen the Lord of the Rings but the picture on the top right is of Gandalf the Grey wizard fighting against a creature called a balrog which looks like a demon or devil. What happens is Gandalf fights the creature on the bridge to protect the rest of the fellowship.  He breaks the bridge with his powers and the balrog falls down.  It appears Gandalf has won the fight but then the balrog drags Gandalf down with him.  But in the second film you find out that although Gandalf fell down the hole, he carried on fighting, eventually won and came back as Gandalf the White (a more powerful wizard). It was a physical fight but this concept can be applied to our minds.  

Depression and negative thoughts can be like a scary monster who drags us down a dark hole but it's possible to fight against it and come back stronger. My doctor said something to me that really helped. 'Think of the negative thoughts as being outside of you'. Then you can imagine them as being something you forbid from taking over your mind. (& yes you can pretend to be Gandalf or Luke Skywalker if it helps!)

Now some sane person suggestions:

Atreyu, from the Neverending
story. I love films where the
hero does not have to be
someone with big muscles.
Small people can have power!

People have different strategies for battling against negativity. Prayer can be an extremely powerful one for some people but those who are not religious can find other ways such as positive affirmations, therapy, mindfulness, self-help books, films with a positive message (it's quite clear I'm a fantasy fan!), inspirational youtube videos like TED talks.  I'm enjoying listening to my cheesy confidence playlist on spotify at the moment! Anything that improves one's thoughts and feelings in a positive and long-term way is going to help.  When we are busy, feeling low and in desperate need of a boost we can resort to temporary fixes like getting drunk, taking drugs, having one night stands or having a make-over. Although it's understandable that people do this, it is important to try to reprogram our minds otherwise we will always just end up back at square one.

Stay level-headed but strong 

Those who think like me will be really uncomfortable saying positive things about themselves and afraid of becoming narcissistic or arrogant but it's all about balance.  It's possible to feel good about yourself and also remain humble.

See : http://samanthathesanevegan.blogspot.co.uk/2016/06/confidence-and-paranoia-who-should-you.html for more on this.

We might not be able to ever stop having ever negative thoughts but we can do what we can to stop them from holding us back from enjoying our lives.  I'm not suggesting that those who have had depression for years or taken their own lives have not tried hard enough to fight it but there's nothing to lose by keeping trying. It can be a long and tough fight but the battle can be won.  Whenever you find yourself having negative thoughts remember the following quote from Labyrinth: