Confidence and Paranoia, who should you listen to?

Thought I'd do one with a Red Dwarf theme as it's something I used to watch when I was younger!  In this episode, one of the main characters hallucinates two people, one is his confidence who boosts and supports him and one is his paranoia who constantly puts him down.  Whether we've been diagnosed with depression, or bipolar disorder or not, we're all prone to fluctuations in mood and external factors that influence our self-esteem.

When we are busy, understandably, we don't always have the time to question the thoughts we have. Consequently we can end up accepting irrational thoughts (grandiose or negative) and having an incorrect perception of ourselves that hinders our well-being.

I've mentioned that when I had quite a bad depressive episode I had an extremely low opinion of myself and really didn't feel like I knew who I was. See: http://samanthathesanevegan.blogspot.co.uk/2015/08/im-not-sane-but-sanity-is-over-rated.html
I can remember looking on my facebook profile through all my 'likes' in an attempt to try and remind myself of who I was. I was thinking 'I don't like or care about any of these things, I have become such a horrible person!' (I've realised that of course this is not true, it's just a sign I'm exhausted and need a rest.) I decided to ask my siblings how they would describe me to someone else and this really helped me.

This is an accurate description of the discrepancy between mine and my siblings' perception of me at the time:

My goodness, I really am paranoia aren't I! How depressing! I realise I'm extremely fortunate to have a good relationship with my siblings and be in touch with them.  If you are surrounded by people who are more like 'paranoia' try to find a way to change this.  If you can't afford to move house or away from the situation, try to find like-minded people through forums or meet-ups.  And if the person that is making you feel awful about yourself is you, change your thoughts! See http://samanthathesanevegan.blogspot.co.uk/2016/05/winning-battle-of-mind.html for more on this.

The problem with always listening to 'Confidence' 

In the Red Dwarf episode 'Confidence' tells Lister that he is brilliant at the guitar when clearly he is useless. He also takes him outside of the spaceship and says that it's okay for Lister to take off his protective oxygen helmet in outer space.  To demonstrate this he takes his own oxygen helmet off and then ends up exploding.

Whilst this is not a situation most of us are going to encounter in life, it's an example of how being too confident can be dangerous.

try to hover around the middle!

When coming out of a depressive episode or a difficult time, one can start to feel a lot more confident which of course is a positive.

The trouble is, being too confident or having unrealistic ambitions can lead you into disappointment and this was definitely a problem for me.  For years I didn't know what I wanted to do with my life and so when I decided to train as a Nutritional Therapist I was filled with excitement and had a flood of ideas.  I always knew it wouldn't be easy but I vastly underestimated how hard it was going to be.  I did manage to get through it but it quite literally drove me insane with stress and the pressure to start up a practice after graduating sunk me into quite a serious depression.


It's so important to strike a balance between being too doubtful or too confident.  Positive Psychology (my favourite subject on my first degree!) books are really good for this, it's not about forcing yourself to feel positive all the time as some people wrongly assume. I've not tried mindfulness yet but it works for a lot of people.

Right now I think I'm definitely in the process of becoming more grounded.

I don't think I'm the most gorgeous, intelligent, competent, exciting person in the world but I don't need to be in order to feel good about myself.  We all have some good qualities (even if they might not be clear to us) and deserve to feel positive about ourselves.

Don't listen too much to confidence or paranoia, listen to the voice of reason!

The wings of politics. Doves vs Hawks

I'm really becoming more interested in politics as I get older and it's cool! It's so true that knowledge is power and it's great not to feel like Joey from F.R.I.E.N.D.S. when people are talking about politics any more!

After the general election one year ago I was completely horrified to see that the Conservatives won. We tend to be friends with people who hold similar views and so I knew very few people who actually said they voted for the Conservatives and so I was shocked. In my last politically themed blog I wrote about the fact that I know a few people who vote for Conservative politicians and they are not malicious, racist or harsh people.  Sometimes they are genuinely trying to do what they think is right and I understand that. It's not nice to feel unable to express your opinions for fear of being labelled as racist or bigoted.

In some ways I can understand some aspects of the Conservative point of view. I don't like the obsession with political correctness and feeling like we are not allowed to say anything.

I am from a Christian family and I think the idea that we shouldn't be able to celebrate our national festivals without offending people from different backgrounds is ridiculous.  When the Olympics were on I really enjoyed watching Britain winning medals and felt proud to be British when watching the opening ceremonies.  I have a very British sense of humour, I love going to old fashioned pubs in areas like Nottingham, Cornwall and Northumberland.  I don't have a particularly strong view either way with regards to the Royal family yet but I enjoy watching the Royal Variety Performance around Christmas time and royal celebrations.

There's certainly nothing wrong with being proud of your culture.

So what are some of the main 'hot' issues? Firstly..........


WORK WORK WORK WORK WORK!

These days mortgages and rents in London are ridiculously high and people are having to work incredibly hard in order to just cover their basic needs.  Most people are spending a disproportionate percentage of their time in a job they don't particularly enjoy and unable to spend as much time as they would like with their families or doing things they enjoy.  And so naturally when it appears that other people are not working and supposedly living comfortably, it fuels resentment.  Although I understand this, I believe that this could be improved upon by higher wages, not lower benefits.

I don't want to keep repeating myself but as I've said in my blog:  http://samanthathesanevegan.blogspot.co.uk/2016/06/a-man-who-knows-something-knows-that-he.html I've had first hand experience from previously living in a family on benefits and the idea that it's blissful laziness is completely false.  Very few people would want to be in that situation and the media can be very clever at distorting people's views.

When I've worked in libraries in poor areas I've found myself being judgemental of people who I'd seen coming in every day for years and years sometimes and thinking 'oh just get a life!'.  But then I think back to the time when my family were on benefits and I realise I was wrong to think this way. I don't like the idea of adopting a 'victim' mentality and I think people always should try their best to support themselves.  But as I've said I'm sure for the vast majority of people, living in poverty is absolutely devastating and humiliating and they are doing everything they can to try and get out of that.  And when people appear to have an apathetic attitude, this apparent 'laziness' should not be labelled in this way.  It's always good to look a little deeper into the reasons why someone appears apathetic rather than judging.  See http://samanthathesanevegan.blogspot.co.uk/2016/06/no-such-thing-as-laziness.html for more on this.

When you are experiencing constant rejection after rejection with jobs paired with people constantly being frowned upon and called 'benefit scroungers' who wouldn't sink into depression? Once you are in the midst of depression it impairs your ability to function properly, you lose confidence and consequently you do not make a good impression in job interviews.  It's a nasty vicious circle that's very hard to get out of and sadly has led to some people taking their own lives.

For more on the subject of work see my blog: http://samanthathesanevegan.blogspot.co.uk
/2016/06/whats-wrong-with-not-wanting-to-work.html

Now onto immigration!

A very touchy subject!

Unfair distribution of wealth
has always been the problem

I'm still on a bit of a learning curve with regards to this but I'm starting to read more into it.  My dad is from Jamaica so obviously I wouldn't be here if it weren't for immigration. None of my closest friends are of English origin and I love finding out about different cultures and trying different foods (and drinks like vodka and wine! hehe!).  There are a lot of people of non-English origin who vote for UKIP or even the BNP which appears strange.  But again I think it's the (false) idea that our immigration policies cause our economy and rate of crime to suffer that fuels this view.  It's simply not true that everyone comes here to receive our generous benefits.  Many, many people immigrate to places like Sweden and Germany and I know someone who lived in Spain for a year and they said that their benefits system was far more generous than ours.

'Why aren't we helping our own first?'
I do agree that it's always important to look after yourself to be able to be in a position to help others.  This general idea was emphasised when I had lectures about starting a nutritional therapy business.  It can be dangerous being too much of a 'rescuer' and that is something which is in my nature.  But I believe with more equal distribution of wealth we could be able to do both.  (To me it's a bit like when some people say to vegans, why do you care more about animals than you care about humans? Most vegans don't! They care about several issues that just happen to include veganism.) I don't think holding the view that immigration should be controlled makes a person racist or intolerant.  There should be limits and controls and I'm sure most left-wing politicians would agree but I still feel it is blamed unjustly for causing society's problems.  I'm still in the process of learning more about it and it's an exciting one.  I'm open-minded and happy to hear different points of view.  Are you a dove or a hawk?

So who knows what will happen on June 23rd? In the words of Sam Cooke 'I know a change is gonna come!'

Learning to dance, sing and run in the rain..................

haha! there you go depressed Samantha,
 nice bit of sarcasm for you

If & when my depression comes back I'm going to seriously piss myself off with my relentless positivity when I look back on these blogs!

It's June right now but it's been cold at some points, dark and cloudy and there's been lots and lots of rain.  I'm not the kind of person who hates winter and only likes summer.  In fact Christmas and the build up to it is my favourite time of the year. I love snuggling up in a blanket with a nice soup or hot chocolate in front of a film when it's raining hard outside & I still get excited about snow! That being said, once Christmas is over I get quite anxious for spring to come after a while and the past few years, winter seems to have been dragging on until what we would normally consider spring or summertime.  Okay so I did go to Brazil this year in February so I can't really complain, but erm, anyway!  

never seen this
Dolce Vita film!
looks good!

I normally quite enjoy running in the park but I'm not the kind of person who will run regardless of the weather and I usually only go when it's not too hot or too cold and when there's no precipitation.  Over the previous winter I ended up being too sedentary because of not wanting to going out in the rain or cold weather and this contributed to me putting on a lot of weight and losing muscle tone.  I have a gym membership at the moment but running is free and I live very near a nice park.  Usually once I'm in the gym I can get into it but the thought of the bus journey and traffic on the way there ends up being such a hurdle to wanting to go.  Given the unpredictability of British weather I can't keep waiting for the weather to be nice in order for me to go for a run.

And so  I'm afraid the cheesy inspirational saying is right, don't wait for the storm to pass, learn to dance, sing or run in the rain!

A few days ago I set out to go for a run whilst was it was dry but quite dark and cloudy. I did one lap around the park (about 1 mile) and then as I started to head back it started to come down really heavily.  I had a feeling this might happen so I had put some rain songs on my spotify. I put on 'Naked in the Rain' by Red Hot Chilli Peppers and legged it home!  It gave me a real adrenaline rush and certainly motivated me to run faster! (Really brought out the Phoebe in me!)
https://open.spotify.com/user/samanthapottinger/playlist/1l3cYVz8
MFDcGkGyz9RzGa

I got quite soaked in a very short space of time but it was a really interesting sensation, the contrast of the warm heat and the cool rain. & yes rain makes my hair go horrible but as I get older I'm starting to care less about these things!

I ended up with an involuntary
80s perm!

I've only done it once and I can't say I love it yet, but I'm sure it might grow on me with time and I've made a playlist of rain songs that might help me embrace it! Giving new things a try is always a positive.  I've been through depression and I certainly understand the feeling of wanting to stay in your comfort zone and if you're not ready to try something different that's fine.  But it can be great being more of a 'Yes' man or woman and can make life a lot more interesting and exciting.

Something I will be trying again for sure!

:( R.I.P. Prince

A man who knows something knows that he knows nothing at all...............(about economics or politics)

out of all these books so far I've
read 'Save water, drink wine'
I admit I get my priorities
 wrong sometimes

Thank you Erykah Badu for that true statement.  I've often had the feeling that I'm stupid because I don't know and understand how the world works as well as I would like to. I can remember when doing my French A level we had to talk about issues such as the legalisation of cannabis and whether Britain should join the Euro and thinking 'I don't even know how to talk about this in English!' (Somehow I still ended up narrowly missing an A!) As I've mentioned before I'm a highly sensitive person and this means that I have more empathy than average and although I'm not naive or not trying to live under the illusion that we live in Care-a-lot, reading newspapers is difficult for me as I find it really hard to cope with all the bad news.  This is why my knowledge of politics and economics is not as good as it should be. But do I know less or more than the average person who votes? Who knows.

Sadly there is minimal education about how the country is really run in schools and so where do a lot of people source their political opinions from?

POVERTY PORN! lol love it

Newspapers such as the Daily mail, Daily express and the Sun are cheap, widely available and highly popular.  I can remember a while ago when I was based at a library in a very ethnically diverse area but at the time the only newspaper they had was the Daily Mail.  Whilst being aware that I'd never consciously made an effort to learn about about politics at the time, I was intelligent enough to use my own judgement and totally enraged by the ridiculous headlines.  

'ROMANIAN ASYLUM SEEKER RUNS OVER AN ELDERLY LADY AND YOUR TAX PAYER'S MONEY IS BEING USED TO FUND THEIR PRIVATE JET!'

'IMMIGRANT COUPLE WITH 15 CHILDREN RECEIVING MORE IN BENEFITS THAN YOU WILL EVER EARN AND THEY LIVE IN A GIANT MANSION IN MAYFAIR WITH A SWIMMING POOL AND JACUZZI!'

sad thing is, that's not much of an exaggeration of the kinds of headlines those papers have!

The daily bullshit. don't buy it

Everything these newspapers write is exaggerated and blown out of proportion to fuel anger, resentment and blame-shifting.  Programmes such as 'Benefits street' have also worryingly gained popularity, creating a totally distorted view of the welfare system that people sadly believe.

As I mentioned in my blog about body image, my family really didn't have a lot of money when I was growing up and it meant that I was an easy target for bullies.

(See http://samanthathesanevegan.blogspot.co.uk/2016/05/the-girl-in-mirror-2-all-about-that.html). My mum used to be a teacher but gave up work when my older sister was little to concentrate on motherhood.  My dad used to work in credit control but sadly got made redundant in the late 90s and as a black middle-aged man, struggled to find work.  As a result, my family were living on benefits for several years.  And were we living in luxury? No. How was it really? Horrendous. Humiliating. Heart-breaking (why do all the words I'm thinking of begin with H?). Anyway! A lot of people think school is the best time of your life but for me it was absolute hell. I always felt really different and inferior because I didn't have the same things other people had. All my clothes were hand-me downs and I dreaded non-school uniform days. That being said, my parents were amazing and did the best they could under the circumstances.  It meant that I was a lot more appreciative and excited on birthdays and Christmas, even by small gifts and taught me and my siblings about delayed gratification. It certainly doesn't feel like a blessing at the time though and it's extremely damaging to your self-esteem. 

So why didn't my parents just get a job? Oh really? Cheers, they never would have thought of that! Were they just lazy, stupid 'scroungers' living in bliss? No.  What does being on benefits really look like for most people? Buying the cheapest versions of everything, scraping pennies together to get enough money to buy a 30p newspaper. Debilitating effect of repeated job rejections. The unrelenting stress of paying bills and the mortgage. My parents don't drink (except on special occasions) or smoke.  We had no luxuries and scraped by paying the essentials. My mum is incredibly bright and used to be a member of MENSA with an IQ of 178. Now in her 60s with several health issues she literally does more housework, cooking and gardening than the rest of us put together.  Does that sound like a lazy person to you?  (I actually don't think there's any such thing as laziness but that's another blog!) http://samanthathesanevegan.blogspot.co.uk/2016/06/no-such-thing-as-laziness.html Do you think my parents wanted to be in that situation?  It's just so great at social gatherings when the first thing someone asks you is 'what do you do for a living?' and you have to answer 'nothing' isn't it!

the daily truth

'Don't have kids if you can't afford them!' I agree and there are some people out there who are irresponsible but they are a small minority. Contraception doesn't always work and we don't always know the reasons why people have had a lot of children.  Journalists cherry pick the most extreme examples in order to bolster their intolerant and judgemental views. I'm not claiming to be an expert on the economy but it's a minute proportion of the welfare budget (3%) that goes on benefits to unemployed people and 0.7% is claimed fraudulently.  Far more money is lost to tax avoidance, as the graph illustrates. 

Thankfully things are better and stable for us now, we're not poor any more but it infuriates me when seeing the way some (otherwise pleasant) people talk about the benefits system.  Although most of my best friends and family are 'lefties' I know a few people who have voted conservative and they are not malicious or racist people.  I feel like they have been misinformed but as I said I'm no expert myself.  I'm open-minded and if anyone has a coherent argument for voting for conservatives I'd love to hear it and be less baffled!  

Bet you can probably guess which way I'm voting in the EU referendum! LOL

Pass the dutchie pon the left hand side..... Thyme for soup!

Ha ha, I like that reggae song. I'm not that in touch with my Jamaican heritage and I haven't been there yet (planning to rectify this in the next few years!). I had no idea what that meant but a 'dutchie' is a cooking pot and the song is about feeding people (not about getting stoned as some people think!).  My surname 'Pottinger' actually means soup maker! Soups can be so comforting on a dark, rainy or cold day and it's a great way to get lots of vegetables into your system.  It's June but it was really rainy today here in London.  I don't mind rain that much as long as I'm not out in it without an umbrella. It makes my hair go frizzy but ah well. Heigh ho. It helps beautiful plants to grow so we must be grateful for it!

Anyway. On to the recipe!

Soup Thyme!

The cool thing about soup is you can just improvise with whatever vegetables you happen to have in your fridge.  I am a bit of a 'make it up as you go along' kindof cook hence why I've not put the exact quantities, I tend to just improvise and learn from trial and error. This recipe includes lentils and almonds so it provides plenty of protein and a variety of amino acids.

Ingredients:

Onions

Garlic (the more the better in my opinion!)

Sweet potato

Chillies

Red peppers

Kale (I've used frozen because I just happened to have some in my freezer)

Creamed coconut (I've used about 12-20g) a little goes a long way

Red lentils

Ground almonds (I had recently made some almond and hazelnut milk so I had saved the pulp). Use around 25-50% of the quantity of lentils you're using

Tomato puree (one tablespoon)

Thyme (I've used dried thyme)

Vegetable stock cube

Sunflower frying oil, coconut oil or rapeseed oil

Method

The texture was a bit weird because of the nut pulp
so I used my stick blender to make it
a bit more smooth

• Finely chop the onions
• Crush the garlic with a garlic crusher if you have one, If you don't you can just chop it
• Fry the onion and garlic in the oil on a low heat for a few minutes, if it starts to sizzle add some water.
• Chop the sweet potato into small pieces and add to the pan
• Chop the red peppers and add to the pan
• Add the dried thyme
• Chop the chilli and you might want to wear gloves whilst doing this. (Note to self, don't chop hot chillies and then take out your contact lenses, ouch!) Add to the onions and garlic.
• Dissolve the stock cube in boiling water. Add the stock to the stir fried onions and garlic
• Add the creamed coconut
• Add the red lentils
• Add the tomato puree and mix in
• Add the kale or any other green vegetable like spinach
• Leave to simmer for around 30 mins
• Enjoy!

Provides plenty of protein, complex carbohydrates, healthy fats, fibre, magnesium, iron and antioxidants.  A soup that can seriously improve your day!

A truly happy meal :)

My happy meal of burgers,
sweet potato fries, broccoli
& a chocolate milkshake

This is a very simple and easy meal idea for those cutting down on meat or those in the transition to veganism.  It's a health(ier) and cruelty-free version of American diner style fast food. Although fast food might be a source of comfort, convenience and excitement for many, the impact widespread consumption of these foods has on our health, animals and the environment is horrendous. I'm really not one for spoiling people's fun and I think we should always enjoy food. I'm no puritan and so I thought I'd make a healthier and cruelty-free but still enjoyable version.

Although I definitely believe eating more foods as close to their natural state can work wonders for your health, it's quite clear I don't believe in perfectionism when it comes to eating.  (See my old blog; http://samanthathesanevegan.blogspot.co.uk/2014/06/a-good-look-at-girl-in-mirror-little.html for a sneaky peak into my unhealthy habits!) Personally, for protein I tend to opt for mainly lentils, beans, nuts, tofu, protein bars and protein smoothies as I'm quite health-conscious and not really used to meaty flavours any more but occasionally I'll have something a bit like the things I used to have when I was younger, just for a change or if I'm feeling a bit sentimental.  Sometimes I really feel like cooking but with our busy lifestyles often we just want something really easy that can just be quickly thrown in the oven and there's nothing wrong with that.

vegan quorn burger

You can never really win as a vegan. If you eat meat substitutes people (including some vegans!) say 'if you're so against meat, why are you eating something that's imitating it? but then if you don't people are like 'yuck, how can you eat tofu and lentils?'  There's no way of pleasing everyone so it's best to just do whatever works for you.

Sweet potato is one of those foods that's so delicious I can't believe it's healthy! It's great source of slow-releasing carbohydrates, antioxidants, beta-carotene, a precursor to vitamin A (only slightly behind carrots in this eye-supportive nutrient!), magnesium, vitamin B6 and fibre.

sweet potato fries are a gift from above!

I could write a whole blog post on the importance of green foods in the diet but they are full of essential vitamins (particularly folic acid), minerals such as iron and calcium and antioxidants.  They are also high in fibre, have an alkalising effect on the body and help to eliminate toxins.

Ingredients

Vegan burgers (I've used vegan quorn burgers available from larger branches of ASDA and Sainsbury's in the UK). There have been some scare stories but quorn has been approved as a safe food by the FDA and FSA.

Sweet potatoes

Oil (I've used sunflower frying oil which is high in monounsaturates. Avoid using conventional sunflower oil as it's incredibly high in omega 6 fats which contribute to inflammation in excess. If you can't find this, look for oils high in monounsaturates or use coconut oil)

Lettuce or any other green vegetable (try to always have something green with each meal!) I've used broccoli.

• Heat the oven to gas mark 6 (204c, 400F)
• Chop the sweet potato into chips carefully using a large, sharp knife
• Pour a small amount of oil onto a baking tray
• Spread the chips around the tray and place on the top shelf
• Put the burgers on a different tray and put in the middle shelf
• Serve with salad or steamed greens. A touch of balsamic vinegar is nice to enhance the flavour!

My vegan milkshake brings all the boys to the yard! (probably wouldn't be a hit would it?)

Ingredients (per person)

• 100ml dairy-free ice-cream. There are lots of different kinds available now in supermarkets and health food stores (I've used the coconut collaborative chocolate frozen yoghurt. It's sweetened with grape juice but still quite high in sugar, fine for a treat though!)
• 300ml Almond milk

Method: Erm, mix together in a glass

Amazing!

So this meal was easy to make in half an hour, provided taste-satisfaction, around 20g protein, 2 of my 5 a day, good amounts of antioxidants, fibre, vitamins and minerals and didn't cause any animals to suffer (can't say the same for a McDonalds happy meal, can you?). That brings joy to my day :)

I've got sunshine, on a cloudy day!

....When it's cold outside, I got the month of May...........

Actually, the Temptations, it's June and it's still really cloudy, rainy and horrible here in London!  It can be depressing when it feels more like winter when it should be summer but I thought I'd make myself a nice, warming, comforting breakfast.  I'm trying to lose a bit of weight at the moment so I've been having a lot of protein smoothies for breakfast but today I fancied something warming.

It's fine to have breakfasts a bit higher in carbohydrate sometimes providing they are not based on refined white products and sugar and there is some protein and fibre included to give you sustained energy.  So here's a recipe for a comforting morning recipe that's full of nutritious ingredients and free from refined carbohydrates.

Pomegranate, coconut and almond porridge!

The healthy and tasty ingredients:

Oats 

Great source of slow releasing carbohydrates and fibre. May help to lower cholesterol

(about 50g per person) 

Pomegranate seeds 

Great way of sweetening porridge without sugar and a source of antioxidants

Dessicated coconut

Contains healthy fats and is a good source of manganese and copper, important for energy production

Ground almonds

Good source of protein, B vitamins, calcium and magnesium

1/2 teaspoon cinnamon

Helps to stabilise blood sugar and adds flavour

Soya milk 

Adds some more protein and may also help to lower cholesterol

(use about double or triple the quantity of oats)

• Heat the oats in a saucepan in the soya milk
• Add the cinnamon
• Add one tablespoon of ground almonds
• Continue to heat until the oats expand and absorb most of the soya milk
• Pour into a bowl and sprinkle with pomegranate seeds and coconut

Enjoy!